Tak, aku bukan putus asa. I dont despair, I dont give up. It just that I don’t give a damn anymore, I don’t care no more. The most important is I need to move on.
I have objective in life. Either with someone, or all by myself my life must go on. Sukar, yes its hard to achieve it if i chose to stick to someone who don't really want to committed and participate.
I will never stop to fight. i will never stop fighting for betterment. But why i should continue fight for someone who don't care, who don't bother to learn the way i see it. Why should i fight for someone who chose to just wait and see, and follow the flow je. Kalau timbul seperti untungnya sabut, timbullah. Andai tengelam bagai untungnya batu, tenggelam lah wahai batu. Like the elders said, Si Luncai terjun je lah dengan labu-labunya.
But i am not Luncai. I can't accept to walk with blindfolded and just take what life has to offer without fighting for what i believe in, for what i want to be, for what life i want it to be. Yes we can't fight destiny, but we can't just surrender blindly. I choose my destiny and yes, I’ll work for it. Even thought it mean that i need to be hurt or to hurt. That is what life is!
I've struggled to survive for years to be who i am now. It was hard, and has hurt me many times but it never killed me. So why should I relent now and give up?
Yes, I won't.